The 32 year old child

This is not a criticism, it's merely an amusing observation...

As my niece starts the 6th generation at Sacred Heart school in Florissant, it is very clear that my family is Catholic. I don't mind being Catholic. It has served me well. While there are a few issues, I have, overall I can't complain. With Catholicism comes some traditions that are hard to break.

As a 32 year old woman (well, in less than a week) with some life experiences under her belt, I feel that I am to an age of respectable moral decisions and maturity. Apparently that is not how it is seen in the eyes of my family. I have had three amusing encounters that happened within days of each other that shows that I am in fact an 8 year old child in the eyes of my family.

Prelude: This Christmas due to out of town family travels, we had 2 Christmases (on the Kohnen side). The kid christmas and the adult christmas. The kid Christmas was in reference to the grandkids. There were nine grandkids present, age 36-16, along with 3 spouses, 2 significant others of more than 5 years, and 5 and a half great-grandchildren. The adult Christmas had no one under the age of 47. I am not saying I wanted to join the adult Christmas. I was amused by the title. I personally would have chosen sibling Christmas. I realize there were kids at the kids Christmas, but it was titled Kid Christmas for grandkids, not the toddlers. I should have seen it coming...

1. The Gettemeiers are heading on vacation this summer. A week filled with Colorado sunshine and fresh air are scheduled in June. We are renting a 5 bedroom house (these bedrooms are more like bunk rooms, huge) so we all can be close and cuddly. While assigning bedrooms (yes, in January we did this) I was assigned the "suite." I use quotes because it is a log-cabin suite, it's not a Ritz-Carlton suite or even a Holiday Inn adjoining room. This room is somehow divided with a double bed on one-side of some sort of drywall partition and a double bed on the other side. I was informed that this room will be mine. Why? Since I will probably be bringing my male "friend" (apparently Catholics are not allowed to say boyfriends or girlfriends), this can camouflage the fact we will be staying in the same bed. Merciful Heavens.

2. A conversation with Phyll. This weekend I will be heading to Chi-town to ring in the big 3-0 for my cousin Paul. Hotel reservations were made. Now my 28 year old cousin Dan is not allowed to stay in the room with his long-term girlfriend Randi. Dan is quarantined to Paul's bachelor pad, thus insuring that Paul has no overnight guests of the female persuasion either. I, however, was given permission to stay with my "friend." (AGAIN, BERN, this is not a criticism, it's an amusing antidote, don't forward this to your mother to make her feel bad).

3. A dialogue with Sheil. Last Friday, I was sharing my amusing encounters with my aunt Sheila. She proceeds to tell me that her 29 year old daughter will not be sharing a room with her boyfriend when they come home for a visit in April. She also tells me that she would never stay with a non-husband in the same room if her parents were in the house (and she will be 50 in May).

I guess what I am most put off by (if that is the right word, maybe confused by?) is that we are not a family that brings home every stray dog off the street. We are a family that only meets potential life partners of family members. Obviously if we are bringing around significant others, we are serious with that person. I might add this is the first person my extended family has met in 7 years.

I understand that this was appropriate action when we were 21, 24, even 26, but 32 seems different. Why? I don't know. What is the age? I don't know that either. Do they have a right to their opinions and rules? Absolutely, but I can still challenge and question them because as I do not have a clear and defined argument, neither do they.

Do they feel the same way about their married children, but have to keep their mouth shut because it has been sanctified by Jesus? Or are they ok once $50,000 has been spent on a party, you now have permission to share a bedroom? When is there a level of commitment that says it is ok?

Why don't our parents trust us to make good decisions when in close quarters with them? When does the parenting stop? Is it an age? Is it a salary amount? Please don't tell me it's it's marriage because I know a lot of people that are married that shouldn't be and I know a lot of good people that are not married (do I need to refer you to the "I like to have sex too much" post?). I am not going to get into the marriage debate at this time.

I just want to know when are we adults in the eyes of our parents?

4 Daily Commitments to Green

Reading a year's worth of newspapers on your computer saves 520 pounds of paper a year.

Americans toss out 16 billion disposable paper cups per year. Always use your reusable mug. Remember REDUCE first, then recycle.

Text messages sent from cell phones use 30 times less energy than sending an email from a desktop computer.

Always say no to a receipt at the ATM and at the pump.

Celebrity Politicians

I have been watching Caroline Kennedy's campaign recently and have been confused by the whole mess. Would she be a good senator? Perhaps. She knows about as much as Hillary knew, minus all the controversy and scandal Hillary has been involved in. Do I know a little more than usual about fires because my dad is a fireman? Perhaps. Does Tara know more about the hardware business because of her parents? Probably. Does Paul know about more make-up than most straight men because of his dad? Absolutely. (Paul's dad retired from Estee Lauder a few years back). You have to give some credit to the "just being exposed to it" factor (they did with Hill). I am not sure that means she should be a senator, but that's not the point of this.

Oh, Caroline. Your mother was the epitome of style. It was a quiet style. Simple dress, simple jewelry, always impeccable. Jackie was never fussy, didn't go over the top in trends.

Where did Caroline miss the boat? I was looking at some outfits in her recent celebrity blitz and I was a little saddened. I do give her credit for not having the latest $1500 bag and not being to pay a ransom with her earrings. I am not asking for her to pull a Sarah Palin and get a ridiculous makeover that costs more than my annual salary.

I am asking her to take off the scarf under the blouse, the suits for the 80's, and the dumpy dresses. Macy's has some wonderful options that won't break the bank (not that is a concern). A simple white t-shirt, black cigarette pants, black flats, and pearls go a long way. Suits have change in the last 15 -20 years. Just because it still fits doesn't mean you should wear it. I wish she would follow in her mother's footsteps and just keep it simple and timeless.

With her wardrobe courtesy of Designing Women, I am concerned for what else she considers current. Iran-Contra? Where's the beef? Does she know who shot JR? Would she have been able to make the tough choices that needs to be made in the Senate these days? Would she be talking about CFC's and not global warming? Wardrobe tells a lot about a person, even subconsciously. It does have an effect. In this age of celebrity-everything, Caroline, I beg you to look the part. I have a feeling this won't be the last time we will hear from her. Again, I am not asking for botox and Louboutin's. I am asking for Maybelline and Jones New York from this century. A small effort will go far and always ask, "What would Jackie do?"

Saving gas for the extremist

It's Wednesday. Time for my small attempt to save the planet. You're gonna love these. You all know the big ideas to get the best gas mileage. Well here are a few obscure suggestions.

Here are tips that will save you pennies:

1. Know where you are going/if it's in stock/if they are open. Don't waste gas driving all over town trying to find the last purple sparkle hairbrush in the city. Call ahead and confirm. Know where you are going first. There is nothing more frustrating or gas-eating than driving up and down streets for 45 minutes.

2. Hold out to run errands in off peak times. You will spend less time in traffic and waiting at lights.

3. Try not to travel on dirt of gravel. It reduces your gas mileage up to 30% (I don't think you have a choice in this, but maybe you do)

4. Remove luggage, bike, and ski racks from your car. They only cause drag.

5. Remove any unnecessary weight from your trunk.

6. Freeze. Your car does not need to warm up for its benefit, it's only your benefit. Tough it out to save a dime or better yet, park it in the garage.

7. Drive steadily. Speed up and slow down gradually.

8. Don't weave. Drive in a straight line. It's the most efficient.

9. Turn your AC off 10 minutes before you get there. It's still cold for those 10 minutes and you are using less gas.

10. Don't accelerate uphill. Build speed up before the incline, maintain it on the way up, then coast down.

11. In stop and go traffic, don't use the AC and roll down the windows.

12. If you are idle for more than 30 seconds, turn your car off.

Yes, some of there are extreme, but some are small choices you can make to save a dime. It's sad to say, but trust me, they actually work. There is a time and a place for all of them, just use your judgement.

Happy Wednesday!

Good luck.

What's your take?

I love pizza. It is a great piece of food. I will take it almost any way I can get it. I will have it everyday. A party of flavors baked into a convenient hand-held meal (which I also enjoy, eating without utensils).
What makes or breaks a pizza for me is tomato sauce. I am not a fan of the sauce. With all of the major delivery chains, I have to remove the cheese, wipe the sauce off and then replace the cheese. It's too much sauce and the flavor overpowers the entire meal. Not satisfying.
Imo's. While it's really not much on pizza, being a St. Louis girl, I do enjoy it. The best part of Imo's? The sauce. It is delicious. I could eat it straight. It is sweet and tangy and cuts the strong, thick cheese nicely. Mmmm.
I love California Pizza Kitchen because they offer so many options that do not include tomato sauce, along with Three Monkeys. Dewey's does a good job of keeping the sauce in it's place: small and insignificant. Keep up the good job, Dew.
Needless to say, Chicago pizza is not my cup of tea. The soup of sauce is too much, along with the cornmeal crust is just too much for me to handle.
Toppings are also important, but won't ruin it for me like the sauce. I am eternally grateful to CPK for the return of their pear & gorgonzola. Dewey's is my friend for their Socrates and Edgar Allan Poe. I had a fig and goat cheese pizza in Paducah this summer and have been dreaming of it ever since.
The place place in St. Louis to get pizza is Dewey's (even though a small national chain), Pirrone's, and Cecil Whittaker's. As for chains: California Pizza Kitchen.

What makes the pizza for you and why? Where is the best place to get pizza?

Like this quote...

"It is every person's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he/she takes out." Albert Einstein

This is what it's all about.

No bodily fluids at the dinner table

Where do I start? Tara asked me to be part of a dinner club with her friend Kara. Dinner? Restaurants? I am in.

I arrive at Sage armed with random topics of small talk (I just finished 2 great books, saw some good movies and there is always the opportunity to spread the gospel of How I Met Your Mother). It is a hodge podge of girls, all about my age that all know each other through a certain degree of separation, most of us are all meeting for the first time. As it is to be expected, most of the women are pregnant or have recently birthed. As it is to be expected, children were heavily the topic of conversation. Here are the some of the topics we touched on last night:

birth; bloody nipples; babies ingesting your blood; needing to sit on a pillow for 2 months; dilating; throwing up; throwing up at the kitchen table while eating dinner; diarrhea; the rancid smell of farts when you are sick; trying to nurse when you are full and it shooting everywhere (and the hand motion of liquid shooting out your boobs).

I understand that when you are a mom, it is all-consuming. There is no time for anything else and this is your life. You deserve to talk and tell your stories, please do not mistake me for criticizing people for talking about something I am not interested in. This just went a little too far.

I don't understand when a women gets pregnant, her private parts become open news. Do not share what your vagina is doing to total strangers. It is not appropriate. I am also one that believes there are some private issues in your house that should stay private. If it happens in the bathroom, let it stay. There is a reason bathrooms are so small: it is meant for just one person (unless you live in Sarah's bathroom, but that is meant for film equipment, but I digress). Then women become mothers and they don't think of what they are actually saying sometimes. Rancid farts as dinner conversation? No. Then they gross out if the skin is left on the fish. Seriously, you just went into detail about your three year old's digestion issues and fish skin pushes you over the edge? Take off the mommy blinders.

As I am listening to the bloody nipple story I am trying to add to the conversation. But what do I say? Do I ask for more detail about the bloody nipple? No, I don't want to encourage this. Do I tell a sister-in-law's birth story? No because who wants to hear about a stranger's birth story? Not me.

I see that there is no point in introducing a new topic. These women have not read a book or have seen a movie in years. There are moms. The are too busy cleaning up vomit and chasing naked kids (again, not criticizing, this is what they are suppose to be doing). I choose to just sit, listen, and look forward to my nice quiet house.

I know I don't understand the neanderthal method of the parasite/host relationship in gestation and I don't understand why anyone would freely choose to enter it. I also don't understand how women give themselves up entirely when they have children. I understand that kids are consuming, but if I was in the situation, I honestly believe that I would still watch CNN. I would make an effort to turn on NPR during the day to learn something and have something else to consume my mind and my conversation. There are moms that are out there that can have other conversations outside their children or tell a story that doesn't involve bodily fluids.

I know many of you are moms or going-to-be moms and I have put you a little on the defensive. I want to hear about your children. I do. Honestly. Please just edit before you open your mouth, just as I do. I do not talk about doctor's appointments, womanly issues, fluids, etc. I did not go into detail what what was oozing out of the shingles because it was not appropriate or needed. Please just edit.

Tara and Kara, you do a great job at editing. OK, never mind, Kara, you do a great job of editing. Thank you. Tara, you are good at talking about kids and then moving on.

My question is: how do I drive the conversation next month? I need to find mom-friendly topics. I realize movies and books are out. TV is probably out because I don't watch The Disney Channel. Current events? Usually too tragic (no bodily fluids at the dinner table). What else is there?