This is not a criticism, it's merely an amusing observation...
As my niece starts the 6th generation at Sacred Heart school in Florissant, it is very clear that my family is Catholic. I don't mind being Catholic. It has served me well. While there are a few issues, I have, overall I can't complain. With Catholicism comes some traditions that are hard to break.
As a 32 year old woman (well, in less than a week) with some life experiences under her belt, I feel that I am to an age of respectable moral decisions and maturity. Apparently that is not how it is seen in the eyes of my family. I have had three amusing encounters that happened within days of each other that shows that I am in fact an 8 year old child in the eyes of my family.
Prelude: This Christmas due to out of town family travels, we had 2 Christmases (on the Kohnen side). The kid christmas and the adult christmas. The kid Christmas was in reference to the grandkids. There were nine grandkids present, age 36-16, along with 3 spouses, 2 significant others of more than 5 years, and 5 and a half great-grandchildren. The adult Christmas had no one under the age of 47. I am not saying I wanted to join the adult Christmas. I was amused by the title. I personally would have chosen sibling Christmas. I realize there were kids at the kids Christmas, but it was titled Kid Christmas for grandkids, not the toddlers. I should have seen it coming...
1. The Gettemeiers are heading on vacation this summer. A week filled with Colorado sunshine and fresh air are scheduled in June. We are renting a 5 bedroom house (these bedrooms are more like bunk rooms, huge) so we all can be close and cuddly. While assigning bedrooms (yes, in January we did this) I was assigned the "suite." I use quotes because it is a log-cabin suite, it's not a Ritz-Carlton suite or even a Holiday Inn adjoining room. This room is somehow divided with a double bed on one-side of some sort of drywall partition and a double bed on the other side. I was informed that this room will be mine. Why? Since I will probably be bringing my male "friend" (apparently Catholics are not allowed to say boyfriends or girlfriends), this can camouflage the fact we will be staying in the same bed. Merciful Heavens.
2. A conversation with Phyll. This weekend I will be heading to Chi-town to ring in the big 3-0 for my cousin Paul. Hotel reservations were made. Now my 28 year old cousin Dan is not allowed to stay in the room with his long-term girlfriend Randi. Dan is quarantined to Paul's bachelor pad, thus insuring that Paul has no overnight guests of the female persuasion either. I, however, was given permission to stay with my "friend." (AGAIN, BERN, this is not a criticism, it's an amusing antidote, don't forward this to your mother to make her feel bad).
3. A dialogue with Sheil. Last Friday, I was sharing my amusing encounters with my aunt Sheila. She proceeds to tell me that her 29 year old daughter will not be sharing a room with her boyfriend when they come home for a visit in April. She also tells me that she would never stay with a non-husband in the same room if her parents were in the house (and she will be 50 in May).
I guess what I am most put off by (if that is the right word, maybe confused by?) is that we are not a family that brings home every stray dog off the street. We are a family that only meets potential life partners of family members. Obviously if we are bringing around significant others, we are serious with that person. I might add this is the first person my extended family has met in 7 years.
I understand that this was appropriate action when we were 21, 24, even 26, but 32 seems different. Why? I don't know. What is the age? I don't know that either. Do they have a right to their opinions and rules? Absolutely, but I can still challenge and question them because as I do not have a clear and defined argument, neither do they.
Do they feel the same way about their married children, but have to keep their mouth shut because it has been sanctified by Jesus? Or are they ok once $50,000 has been spent on a party, you now have permission to share a bedroom? When is there a level of commitment that says it is ok?
Why don't our parents trust us to make good decisions when in close quarters with them? When does the parenting stop? Is it an age? Is it a salary amount? Please don't tell me it's it's marriage because I know a lot of people that are married that shouldn't be and I know a lot of good people that are not married (do I need to refer you to the "I like to have sex too much" post?). I am not going to get into the marriage debate at this time.
I just want to know when are we adults in the eyes of our parents?
4 comments to The 32 year old child:
Why did you blur out the faces! Do you still own that dress?
Parents will never stop parenting. I listen to my grandmother at 83 still lecture and slap my father who will be 58 next week. (this may not be a good comparison as my father still spits pimentos out of olives at the dinner table)
My question is what happens to the poor soul who never wants to marry but finds an amazing soulmate who has stood the tests of time? I mean, so what if there isn't a piece of paper. Does that piece of paper really justify the relationship? As you said, there are plenty of people who have that paper and their relationship is less than desireable.
I don't get it either and I don't think I ever will.
Good post. If someone gives you an answer please let me know.
when i lived in K.c. i had a one bedroom apt and my mom found out billy was coming to visit... she said where is he going to sleep I said I do not know mother why don't you mind your own business .. the next day an air matress was overnighted to my apt...complements of phyllis stovesand!!!
because she never had premarital sex!!!!
OMG Bernadette. That is the funniest story.
I appreciate the fact people may commit to no sex before marriage, but a relationship is about more than that. It's about touching, holding, cuddling. These are all just as important. And when does most of that happen. At the end of the day when you are finally relaxed and sharing your day.
Why do they think we are all horny teenagers? Is that it? Is it the sex thing? Is that what they are really so distraught over? Forget being Catholic, we might as well become Amish.
Ok so you want to discuss this but don't want to get into the marriage debate?
I'm confused?!?
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